Betrayal Is An Ugly Word

Today I found out in a casual phone conversation that someone I had trusted for a long time had betrayed me. Say the world out loud and it sounds ugly--Betrayal. Roll it around on your tongue Betrayal... it makes your tonsils and teeth hurt. As I heard this friend of mine recount a story that happened a couple of years ago, I got quieter and quieter, my breath was shallow and from the other end of the phone came the query, 'you still there?' Parts of me were, other parts were shattered, beneath me on the floor in fragments. He wanted to know what was wrong and was surprised at my anger over what she had done. After all, what she did was directed at him, not me. Perhaps she didn't think it would hurt me, more likely she didn't think of me at all--collateral damage is all I was. Betrayal is an ugly word. Revenge is a beautiful word and Ruth Lavida Adkins Robinson will have hers.