Lost My Warrant, Lost My Mind

So in June, the State of California stopped paying people like me who work as independent contractors. Everybody who isn't living in a cave knows they started issuing IOUs to us dumbbutts. I'm not good with pieces of paper so I've lost the two IOUs that I've received. Of course you can guess what madness ensued when I realized I'd lost them. Because of course they weren't really lost, I had just put them up somewhere safe. It is the story of my normal, insane pattern of doing things. Put it up somewhere safe. So I dedicated the entire last five days to finding those two unremarkable looking slips of paper. My house now looks like a bomb went off in there and only after I looked in the same place that I had looked ten times earlier did I find ONE OF THEM. Right there in my passport case, I found very neatly folded up a State of California warrant for some thousands. So today I gave in and simply filed a notice of loss for the other one because I must get on with the other parts of my life, languishing for the last five days. Of course, I have lost many things by putting them up 'somewhere safe.' A diamond ring that I especially liked, I've had to get my birth certificate from the Department of Vital Statistics of Kentucky so many times, they probably think I'm selling the thing, all kinds of memorabilia, and very often I discover that which I have put in safekeeping. So this weekend, I bought a fireproof box to keep in the house to put things in. This is not to be confused with my safety deposit box at City National, where I keep important jewelry and other secret stuff. See, I put the safety deposit keys up somewhere safe and until I find them, the new little box will have to do. I'm Ruth Adkins Robinson