Infomercials in the Dead of Night

I actually didn't know infomercials run in broad daylight-- I thought these insidious things only ran in the dark of the night where people like me can dial in secret-no witnesses to our madness. But here I am watching one that guarantees me this gadget will renovate my house without breaking a nail. I'd have to twist my own arm to keep from dialing 1-800 sucker. My god, I want this power tool. Not that I will ever use it, but they made this nearly irresistible to someone like me who has spent a large fortune fixing up my 100 year old Arts & Crafts home. Watching this I salivate at the rasp attachment's potential for removing my old linoleum floors. Well, if I had any old linoleum floors, but I do have junction boxes and sheet rock (or as my Daddy used to call it drywall). There I go dipping into the past missing the opportunity make Internet millions say the two airheads taking up my big screen.. Oh, change the channel skimming past all the opportunies to Home Shop. But my most secret and guiltiest pleasure is eBay--since 2001. They are so helpful--they even tell you how many items you've bought, well sort of. I've made so many purchases they say 'just 220 until you reach Purple Status.' When I was in the middle of my serious budget cutting in January of 2008 (after "Showtime at the Apollo" was cancelled), I decided I'd stash $5,000 USD in PayPal and pretend I didn't have it. I promised myself I'd use it for one year, little bitty things that I couldn't resist and, see, buying them wouldn't diminish my bank account. It was so much fun having the money sitting there, I stopped buying anything. Well, kinda. There are still those lovely infomercials. I've got to figure out a way not to buy anything to fix my house or my erectile dysfunction. Trying to protect yourself from yourself is tough.--Ruth Adkins Robinson