Define Feminity

For my entire adult life, I have been asked if I am a dude, even before it was 'ok' to publicly admit it or watch women kiss it up on tv. For the first or fifteen hundredth time that happened, it's always been a puzzle to me. Do people think that because I'm not docile or accepting of bull or will go anywhere on any continent by myself, or some other stupid reason? So yesterday, when a friend said I was channeling my inner lesbian, I asked him why did he think that. His answer mimics what I've been told. See, I always work in 'men's jobs.' I've never needed a mate to complete me and for most of my adult life I have always had multiple partners (all men, btw). Then I can talk football with anybody, watch games by myself, know how to wield a hammer or saw and will jump in your face challenging anything. None of these seem to be feminine traits. Who said? And even if they are not, what about the fact that I do a lot of girly stuff like:collect dainty bone china and can identify specific patterns a football field away, can throw a frypan with vengenance, have a whole coterie of men who love me still even after a breakup; I'm a fantastic mother and grandmother, crochet, paint furniture and decorate a home with great elan. I'm not frilly and don't wear a lot of colors but that is as much to do with a slight case of colorblindedness as anything else. I have problems with people who lump people into categories either by how they appear or what you think their behavior looks like. I'm a woman who likes men, sometimes in bed, sometimes flat on their feet, but who doesn't tolerate wrong behavior from anyone male or female. Ok, so I'm ranting Ruth Adkins Robinson